Woe is me, and a day defining discomfort is the one that settles in my stomach having seen this trailer. It would seem, while Oscar Wildes' "The Picture of Dorian Gray" is a novel undoubtedly worthy of a film adaptation, that an entirely unsuited team of producers has sunk their greasy and prodigal claws into this; such a richly written piece of literature of unfading philosphical relevence.
It took only a 'teaser' of two and a half minutes to discourage me from ever seeing it, I say teaser, but it felt more like a slow witted bully pummelling my literary heart of beloved hearts with stone fists of contemporary idiom and jargon carved by unimaginative egoistic corporate hands. I may be wrong, as it has been more than a year since I've read the book, but I challenge you to find the lines "If I told you, I'd have to kill you" when Dorian is referring to the secret behind his apparent immortality, nor "Let's raise some hell", spoken by Lord Henry. Now in most book to film adaptations this would only present a very minor nuance, but when the adapted book is a work of one of the greatest and most respected orators, conversationalists and raconteurs to have ever lived, on both page and in person, well, I hope you might see my problem with deviation from the archetype.
There is, I admit, small praise to be bestowed. Though only to the casting crew of this travesty, I'm afraid. Ben Barnes (Gray) is, I suppose suitably attractive, though I always pictured Dorian to have been fairer haired, and Colin Firth as Lord Henry was a respectable choice. We can be thankful at least, that they're actually English, this time.
So, if any of you who read this, few though you may be, are a fan and humbled worm of Wildes' works like myself deem this watchable, let me know. Help mend my confounded heart.
NS
